The Week in News: In Rhyme

I have no idea how long I can keep this up, but I thought it would be cool to summarize the week’s news in rhyming mode.

Week of May 19,2013

A big tornado swept through town
and made the Oklahomans frown.
But a little dog found on TV
Made the lady frowny-free.
Except for Wolf, he swung and missed,
and got served by an atheist

—-

Obama’s speech made a lot of fuss
About the national security apparatus
“Drones won’t kill civilians,
Only Arabs by the millions.
But Gitmo’s bad and has to go.
Hey, have you seen my prom photo?”

—-

This dude in London went to town,
Speaking hate and throwing down.
His hands were bloody,
His eyes aswirl.
Beaver Cleaver he was not.
But that don’t matter, he got shot.

—-

Washington bridge is falling down
Falling down, falling down
Structures failing all around.
Where’s that funding?

Your feel-good story of the day.

The next time Google breaks its “don’t be evil” slogan, remember this: an Indian boy used Google Earth, a quarter-century after being separated from his family on a midnight train ride, to successfully find his mother’s village and reunite.

“It was just like being Superman. You are able to go over and take a photo mentally and ask, ‘Does this match?’ And when you say, ‘No’, you keep on going and going and going.”

He drew a circle on a map with its centre in Calcutta, with its radius about the distance he thought he had travelled. Incredibly, he soon discovered what he was looking for: Khandwa. “When I found it, I zoomed down and bang, it just came up. I navigated it all the way from the waterfall where I used to play.”

Wow.


$8,100

That’s how much a Dakota City, Iowa woman sold this McNugget for, based on its faint resemblance to George Washington. Judging by how much a single breaded bite fetched, I think McDonald’s is significantly underpricing its “20 for $4.99” deal. (source)

Francesco Schettino told an Italian judge on Tuesday that he “tripped and ended up in one of the lifeboats…I was trying to get people onto the boats in an orderly fashion.
The captain of the Costa Concordia’s excuse for getting out before the crew. Yeah, and the ship just “tripped” on some rocks. (via CheatSheet)
journalofajournalist: There’s got to be an Arrested Development spec script in this. Tobias? thedailyfeed: The owners of Ice Cream Family Corner and Sandwiches in Ocala, Florida, picked a really unfortunate mascot. Now some customers are staying away because they think the sweet shop is associated with the Klu Klux Klan. Photo: Ocala.com One day he’ll be Mr. Manager…
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journalofajournalist:

There’s got to be an Arrested Development spec script in this. Tobias?

thedailyfeed:

The owners of Ice Cream Family Corner and Sandwiches in Ocala, Florida, picked a really unfortunate mascot. Now some customers are staying away because they think the sweet shop is associated with the Klu Klux Klan.

Photo: Ocala.com

One day he’ll be Mr. Manager…

Source: apps.facebook.com